The Day of The Nutritionista Part I

As the minister for food drove through Whitehall his car was pelted with fish oil supplements. Of course the event could have been a coincidence totally unrelated to his statement in the House of Commons the previous day that there was no proof of the effectiveness of supplements. Perhaps it was young hooligans or perhaps ….. it was an assassination attempt. The government knew what it had to do.

Captain Bellodi was a senior officer in the Italian police force. Due to his success in combating the Mafia he had been appointed to the European Union’s Bad Science Task Force charged with routing out and investigating nonsense.  He arrived at Heathrow on a bright sunny day.  “Could this be the home of optimum nutrition?” he asked himself. “This sceptred isle. Land of the free. Home of John Locke, Bertand Russell, John Stuart Mill, Florence Nightingale, Winston Churchill and Monty Python.”  Yes, he knew the people of Britain and found it difficult to believe they were falling for nutri-bullocks in large numbers.

Apparently it was all centred on a shadowy organisation known as Basingstoke Nutritionists. Who were they and what they was doing was something he had to find out and fast before some one got hurt.

First though he had to find a local to help him out some one familiar perhaps with nutrition?

“Yes sir, I come from an multi-ethnic background in a cosmopolitan city. What is more I have done postgraduate training in dietetics at Kings College, London. What I don’t about anything isn’t worth knowing. What is more I do like food. It is much nicer than supplements ehhh?  Anyway, my name’s Sgt Sexton. Pleased to be working with you.”

“Look,” replied Capain Bellodi, “This is a serious endeavour. The fate of western civilisation could be at stake.”  “Il mio capitano, I am very serious.”

At that moment a breathless police officer arrived in the room: “Excuse me for interrupting you captain, but we have just had some breaking news in. Sir Montgomerie Wilson-Watson, the MP for Basingstoke has been found dead.”

To be continued ……

 

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2 Responses to “The Day of The Nutritionista Part I”

  1. dvnutrix Says:

    he knew the people of Britain and found it difficult to believe they were falling for nutri-bullocks in large numbers.

    I blame women’s magazines and daytime TV. I’m a consumer of neither but I shall blame them.

    Does this EU task force go around telling infants that Santa is a fiction? I think that we should be told.

    All this, and more, in the next exciting episode of, Day of the Nutritionista…

  2. leet01 Says:

    No, it would be authoritarian telling people not to believe in Santa Claus. After all as long as the spirit of Christmas is within our heart Santa lives. What this task force does is try to find out the truth and prevent people being harmed.

    It is a difficult job, but some one has got to do it.

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